Sunday, January 27, 2008

Kerry’s Bad Day: The Ring part two

The Conversation Before &mdash

Me: Hello. Donna speaking.

Kerry: Hey. It's me. I need you to listen to me.

Me: Sure. What's up?

Kerry: You might have to stop me from doing something.

Me: [gasp] What? What is it?

Kerry: I went to the store to pick up the ring. And HE picked it up already.

Me: You're kidding. Didn't he say he wanted you to have it?

Kerry: Yes. And after all I went through the first time I went to pick it up with that bitch at the counter.

Me: That time when you just about had to give them your birth certificate for ID? I can't believe he picked up the ring. What do you think that means?

Kerry: Well, what do you think it means.

Me: It's all he has to get back at you. I mean, the guy was desperate for you.

Kerry: I want to put the box and the bag on his doorknob.

Me: No! Wait. Let me think. Can he take out a PFA on you? I mean, he is a cop after all.

Kerry: Ha. No. he can't do anything.

Me: Maybe you shouldn't. Wait. No. Do it! I say go for it, girl.

Kerry: Thanks.

Me: Call me afterwwards, okay? Now, go!

. . .

The Conversation After &mdash

Me: Hello. Donna speaking.

Kerry: Hey. It's me. Well. I did it.

Me: No! [gasp] You didn't!

Kerry: I did.

Me: You hung the bag on his doorknob?

Kerry: No. I put it near a dumpster near his home.

Me: Um. You put it near a dumspter. Will he see it?

Kerry: Oh, yes. He'll definitely notice it. He's a cop, remember.

Me: Yeah. You crazy. By the way- what were you going to do with the ring anyway if you had it?

Kerry: I was going to donate it to a women's shelter.

Me: How appropriate, seriously. That's so like you.

Kerry: Get this. As I pulled away, I saw his red Corvette come around the corner.

Me: Jesus. That was close.

Kerry: Exactly. Clearly, I cannot catch a fucking break.

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