Thursday, November 22, 2007

Another autumn passage

It's maddening, this time of year. I love it and in return, it hurts me.

Last year, the autumn took my dog. This year, it took my heart.

My grief seems bottomless but- look- the beauty of the world- that "certain slant of light" at dawn, at twilight- and the smell of woods fermenting. Maybe autumn isn't so cruel. Maybe it's the right time for loss since the season is so soothing.

Time to clean house... put things away... make things right.

And at the core, there's gratitude.

~ Above: Migration by Roi James, whose landscapes break my heart ~


gwen said...

You, my dear, need a telepathic hug and some Jane Hirshfield.

Three Times My Life Has Opened

Three times my life has opened.
Once, into darkness and rain.
Once, into what the body carries at all times within it and starts
to remember each time it enters into the act of love.
Once, to the fire that holds all.
These three were not different.
You will recognize what I am saying or you will not.
But outside my window all day a maple has stepped from her
leaves like a woman in love with winter, dropping the colored silks.
Neither are we different in what we know.
There is a door. It opens. Then it is closed. But a slip of light stays,
like a scrap of unreadable paper left on the floor, or the one
red leaf the snow releases in March.

Tavy said...

I think you are a poet at heart. The words you choose and the sentiments they carry are beautiful, haunting, and always moving.

I am so sorry for your ongoing pain, but I am glad that you are able to feel the warmth of peace and hope in the blanket of your grief.

Brickgrrl said...

Gwen and Tavy- I send my warmest regards and return the hugs. You are both very dear. You are also both writers who, if I didn't know how warm and fabulous you both are, I would be quaking in my boots thinking that you're reading my humble pages.

As for melancholy, sometimes it's good to be there. And I like music to go with that mode, thank you very much. If it's possible to wear out mp3s, I have worn a digital groove in the Satie Gymnopédies.

To happier days, or at least good friends and excellent wine in the meantime...