A conversation

Kerry and I had just begun our weekly meeting, seated in our favorite booth at the Tally-Ho. While waiting for our designated minutes-taker, Nicky, we discussed the cultural landscape.

Kerry: For the longest time, I thought Jane Seymour was the Gerber Baby.

Me: Really? I have to confess I don't know who was.

Kerry: Turns out, she's not.

Me: How do you know this? And why is this a thing?

Kerry: I was online trying to find out more about Anthony Bourdain's trip to Spain.

Me: Okay, this isn't how I thought the story would begin.

Kerry: And while I was surfing, this old bat comes up on the page and claims SHE was the Gerber Baby. It just doesn't seem plausible. She looks so old and Jane seems more the right age.

Me: For a few minutes, I wondered if Mr. Green Jeans was Frank Zappa's dad.

Kerry: That was a thing for a while, wasn't it?

Me: Yeah. Eons ago. That pre-dated my skepticism. And my awareness of Snopes and Wikipedia. And my friendship with Geo, of course.

Kerry: I still want it to be Jane.

. . . . .

Postscript, with apologies to my wingwoman:
Ann Turner Cook was the Gerber Baby.

As for Mr. Green Jeans, the wiki has this to say: "Mr. Green Jeans was the subject of an urban legend that claimed he was the father of the late musician Frank Zappa. The confusion probably arose from the title of song by Zappa, "Son of Mr. Green Genes", from Zappa's 1969 album, Hot Rats. Zappa was, in fact, the son of Francis Vincent Zappa, Sr. The rumor has also been attached to shock rocker Alice Cooper." What I found most surprising about his brief wiki entry is that he died in 1987 in East Stroudsburg, Pa, only a hike over a mountain from my hometown.