Stages... via Geo-Logic

This is from the musician/skeptic/singer-songwriter/heliocentrist
George Hrab's blog.

With permission, herewith is the entire post of Stages... but please do visit his pages to read his other entries just because he is who he is.




The Five Stages of Grief
* Denial
* Anger
* Bargaining
* Depression
* Acceptance

The Four Stages of Spatula Purchasing
* Searching
* Comparison
* Assumption
* Resplendence

The Six Stages of Gravy Making
* Preparation
* Insouciance
* Torment
* Mixing
* Cantankerousness
* More Mixing

The Five Stages of Shemp
* About to be hit on head
* Being hit on head
* Just after being hit on head
* Wondering who hit him on head
* Wondering when he’ll be hit on head again

The Eighteen Stages of VH-1 CelebReality Viewing
* Shock
* Horror
* Laughter
* Joy
* Pain
* Sunshine
* Rain
* Hysteria
* Stupor
* Mellifluousness
* Confusion
* Repulsion
* Hunger
* Awe
* Douche Chill
* Gag Reflex
* More Hunger
* Twinkie High

The Five Stages of Greece
* Coliseum
* Theater of Dionysus
* Odeon of Herod Atticus
* Amphitheater at Epidaurus
* Loews Demosthenes

The Seven Stages of Pre-Molly Hatchet Show Tailgaiting
* Cooler preparation
* Charcoal purchase
* Flirting with Disaster
* Consummation with Disaster
* Sucking in of Gut
* Realization it’s not 1982
* Acceptance

The Six Stages of Mission Impossible Episode
(TV show, not shitty movies)
* Receiving of Mission
* Assemblage of Team
* Mission commencement
* Improvisation while dealing with horrible unforeseen circumstance
* Mission Completion
* Driving Off in Van

The Eight Stages of Elton John
* Not Gay
* Bi
* Gay
* Married
* Undetermined
* Bi
* Gay
* Really Gay

The One Stage of Hermit Crabs
* Content

The Five Stages of the Five Stages of Grief
* Depression of Denial
* Acceptance of Anger
* Denial of Bargaining
* Bargaining of Depression
* Anger of Acceptance

The Five Stages of Forest Fire Prevention Awareness
* Denial
* Fear of Bears
* Acceptance of Bears
* Extinguishing of flames
* Post BBQ Guilt

The Four Stages of David Lee Roth
* Pre-Spandex
* Spandex
* Post-Spandex
* Ironic Spandex

The Seven Stages of Bagel Consumption
* Hunger
* Purchase
* Internal shmear/no shmear debate
* Shmear
* Consumption
* Guilt
* Vowing to Start Diet Monday

The Five Stages of Golf
* Denial
* Anger
* Bargaining
* Depression
* Acceptance

The Six and a Half Stages of Jello
* Powder
* Liquid, Hot
* Liquid, Cool
* Squishy
* Firmish
* Jello-like
* (consumed)

The Twelve Stages of Blog Writing
* Worry
* Blank Staring
* More Worry
* Wondering Who’s Gonna Read it Anyway
* Proclivity
* Reticence
* Pragmatism
* Superciliousness
* Crotch Itching
* Rash
* Doctor Visit
* Blog Postponement
* Idea formulation
* Joy
* Letdown