I'm sure Ms. Vilkomerson has made a large contribution to this essay... but as far as I'm concerned, it's more guilty pleasure work procrastination courtesy of Choire Sicha. It's a good thing I don't actually know him. I would totally be Chester the Terrier jumping all around big, stoic, turtleneck-wearing Spike the Bulldog, yapping "so whadya wanna do now, Boss? huh? huh?" It would be pathetic.